Week of: Monday July 29, 2019
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
IN THE NEWS: Scientists Just Found How Nerve Cells Can Pass Information Down Several Generations As a rule, your brain's activity doesn't influence the physiological development of your sex cells. In simpler terms: What you 'think' can't be inherited. But now it looks like we may need to rethink this rule for at least one species. The activity of nematode neurons has been shown to influence the foraging behaviour of the next generation of worms, and it could be caused by a novel inheritance pathway. A team of scientists from Tel Aviv University in Israel describes how free-floating strands of RNA generated inside roundworm (Caenorhabditis elegans) neurons affect the way subsequent generations sniff out their meals.With that in mind, the discovery is potentially huge: it could describe an entirely new mechanism by which one generation affects the physical state of the next.Since these 'epigenetic' processes can be influenced by the environment, it's now seen as another way events that take place in the lives of one generation can affect the development of not only children, but potentially multiple generations. Rechavi and his team have now demonstrated that inheriting these neuronal RNA fragments can result in differences in learning and behaviour not just in the next generation, but for several generations down the line. "Through this route, parents could potentially transmit information that would be beneficial to the progeny in the context of natural selection," says biologist and study co-author Itai A. Toker.
WELLNESS: Found in Minuscule Amounts in Foods, yet Essential for Healthy Cellular Aging and Immune Health How Quercetin and Pterostilbene stands apart...Supports lung and bronchial tract health, cellular and mitochondrial health, memory and focus, athletic performance, heart health and more. Is ideal for long-term, year-round use to help support immune health and your natural defense against seasonal threats. Experts agree... eating a diet rich in fruits and especially vegetables can go a long way toward keeping you healthy. How? Largely because of a special class of antioxidant compounds called flavonoids. Flavonoids are the biggest family of polyphenolic compounds and are more simply called polyphenols. Plants naturally produce flavonoids to help protect themselves against harsh conditions, UV light, injury and parasitic invaders. When you consume flavonoids, their rich supply of phytochemicals interacts with enzyme systems involved in some of your body’s most crucial pathways. These super-antioxidants are so important to your health, your well-being depends on them. Studies show the more flavonoids you consume, the lower your risk for developing adverse health effects. Quercetin is a natural flavonoid found in very small amounts in many foods, such as apples, berries, onions, broccoli, black tea and a flower from the Sophora japonica tree. Widely distributed in the plant kingdom, quercetin has played an important role in folk medicine for centuries. Another powerful antioxidant, pterostilbene,is naturally produced by blueberries and other small berries, but the amount each berry produces is incredibly small. Note: we have a supplement that contains a lot of these elements.
CHIROPRACTIC: Breaking Free From Dystonia Dr. Christa Hubbard was in chiropractic school when she had a severe car accident. This is when her dystonia, a disease characterized by uncontrollable muscle spasms, began. The symptoms were a tightening sensation on the right side of her face and neck. This made it incredibly difficult for her to hold up her head, and the pain continues to spread through the entire right side of her body. Four years after the accident, she was on the verge of never being able to stand on her feet again. At this point, her arm and leg muscles were beginning to contract, and she was beginning to lose control of her motor skills. It seemed to only worsen as time went on. In college, Dr. Hubbard had been a Division I skier and athletics had always played a large role in her life. However, due to dystonia, she says her body was “contorted in an unrelenting state” where any movement at all became nearly impossible. She could no longer recognize herself—inside or out. This created an insurmountable sense of hopelessness. On top of the physical pain, she could no longer take care of her 5-month-old daughter and her cognitive abilities were continually declining. After seeking help from all kinds of medical professionals, she finally sought out a chiropractor. With 11 months of chiropractic care, which consisted of one adjustment of the spine and extremities combined with neurological therapies she did to strength her brain, the thirty-year-old doctor is finally free from the cage of dystonia. As a chiropractor herself, she is shocked by the miraculous “untwisting” of her body with this treatment. She can now continue with her own practice as well as spend time with her daughter and husband.
FUNNY BONE: I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.@@ Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.@@ Half the people you know are below average.@@ 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.@@ 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.@@A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.@@ If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.@@ Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.@@ Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.@@ Billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I'm just cooking!"@@Why buy it for seven dollars when you can make it yourself with $92 of craft supplies.@@I don't care what anyone thinks of me…..except dogs-I want dogs to like me.@@Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.@@Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.@@It's just a matter of time before they add the word "syndrome" after my last name.@@The more you weigh, the harder it you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.
Week of: Monday July 22, 2019
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
IN THE NEWS: Breaking NEWS: How VOCs could be destroying your health, while you sleep by: Sara Middleton, staff writer | July 12, 2019 Have you ever heard of VOCs? No, they’re not some knock-off brand of colorful plastic shoes named after a crocodile. VOCs are “volatile organic compounds” that can cause a number of unwanted health effects. You may have never even heard of VOCs before – but your home is a major source of exposure to them, if you’re not careful. Today, we feature a breaking study published in Environmental Science and Technology – which reveals just how prevalent these harmful chemicals are in mattresses – and how a sound night’s sleep could be dangerously increasing your exposure. Reported effects include: Headaches, Nausea and vomiting, Dizziness, Persistent coughing, Wheezing or difficulty breathing, Confusion and memory loss, Dizziness, Skin, nose, and throat irritation, Respiratory tract infections, Eye infections and vision problems, Nosebleeds, Fatigue. More serious consequences that occur from long-term exposure to certain VOCs – such as radon, benzene, and formaldehyde – may include asthma, seizures, personality changes, hyperactivity, learning difficulties, neurological dysfunction, and even cancer.Here are a few things you can do: Get a high-quality, indoor air purification system. Install and maintain carbon monoxide and radon detectors in your home, and get your house tested for harmful chemicals with an HVAC expert in your area. Improve your ventilation, which can include natural strategies like growing indoor plants and using essential oil diffusers. Consider purchasing non-toxic and/or organic furniture – and at the very least commit to using non-toxic household cleaners. The bottom line: it’s important to recognize that we live in a toxic world. But, for every problem – there is a solution. Take action today to protect the health of yourself and your family. It’s worth the effort.
WELLNESS: Ancestral diet can prevent macular degeneration Physicians are taught that macular degeneration is an inevitable consequence primarily caused by aging and genetics, and has always existed at high prevalence. This, it turns out, is not true. Projections suggest 196 million people will have macular degeneration by 2020, and it’s expected to increase to 288 million by 2040. Before 1925, there were no more than about 50 cases of macular degeneration in all of the world’s literature. By 1940, it was becoming slightly more common. By 1975, 8.8% of Americans over the age of 52 had macular degeneration, which was approximately 4.5 million people. Research by Dr. Chris Knobbe, an ophthalmologist, reveals macular degeneration is a disease primarily induced by a westernized diet. Knobbe recommends an ancestral diet; you can eat anything you want, provided it’s real food, made from scratch without polyunsaturated vegetable oils or trans fats. Refined white flour or sugar should also be minimized.
CHIROPRACTIC: Time to Visit Your Chiropractor – Even When You're Not in Pain Why visit your doctor of chiropractic periodically – even when you're not experiencing pain or other symptoms? Here's why. The latest study on maintenance care for low back health suggests receiving chiropractic care periodically dramatically reduces the number of days you'll experience "bothersome" low back pain over the course of a year. Published in the multidisciplinary open-access journal PLOS One, the study included 328 patients ages 18-65 with nonspecific low back pain who experienced a favorable response to chiropractic care during their initial course of treatment. Patients were then randomly allocated to one of two groups for one year: a maintenance care group that received periodic chiropractic care or a control group that returned to their chiropractor only when LBP symptoms were present. Every week, researchers assessed subjects' low back pain with a single question: "On how many days during the past week were you bothered by your lower back (i.e., it affected your daily activities or routines)?" During the 12-month tracking period, members of the maintenance care (MC) group made an average of 6.7 visits to the chiropractor, compared with 4.8 visits by members of the control group. Those additional visits correlated with 12.8 fewer days of bothersome low back pain, on average, for the MC group compared to the control group. How important is 12.8 fewer days of bothersome LBP a year? We're sure you agree it's worth a few additional visits to your chiropractor! And that's the beauty of chiropractic care – it helps minimize the chances your pain will occur / recur, rather than treating it with medication once you're already in pain. If you're smart, you don't wait until your car breaks down to take it to the mechanic, and you don't wait until your teeth fall out to visit the dentist; so why wait until you're in pain before going to your chiropractor? As we mentioned at the beginning, this isn't the first study – and likely won't be the last – to suggest maintenance chiropractic care is more effective than symptom-guided care for low back pain.
FUNNY BONES: I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.@@ Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But, smoking bacon will cure it.@@ Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car.@@ Always identify who to blame in an emergency.@@ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.@@ I don't engage in mental combat with the unarmed.@@ Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.@@ My mate broke his left arm and left leg, but he was alright.@@ A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Week of: Monday July 15, 2019
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
IN THE NEWS: Cannabis use during pregnancy doubles risk of premature birth, study says Twelve per cent of babies whose mothers used drugs were born before 37 weeks, compared to 6 per cent who did not, study finds Women who use cannabis during pregnancy are twice as likely to experience a premature birth and have higher rates of potentially serious complications, according to a new study. Twelve per cent of those who took the drug gave birth before 37 weeks, found researchers in Canada, where marijuana is legal. This compared to 6.1 per cent among women who did not report using the drug. The study used responses form more than 661,000 pregnancies in Ontario, Canada, including nearly 10,000 where the mother said they used cannabis. It also showed pregnant women had higher rates of placental abruption, a rare but serious complication where the placenta that supplies oxygen and nutrients to the foetus separates from the uterus.
WELLNESS: 3 Supplements For Acne, Wrinkles And Redness That Dermatologists Swear By Skincare can get really high maintenance. There's so many products out there that promise clear skin, and many times you could end up spending a huge chunk of your paycheck on just a handful of products. But, instead of trying to take care of your skin when trouble arises, prevent it by taking supplements! That's right, just by investing in a few supplements you can help prevent your skin from suffering through annoying problems like acne, redness and wrinkles. "I am a big fan of dietary supplements," dermatologist Leslie Baumann, M.D., told Dermatologist Times. "They're not harmful and many of them may be helpful ... I often recommend them to my patients." Check out the following supplements to take care of all your skincare needs for good! One supplement Dr. Baumann recommends is Omega-3 fatty acids. if the patient has a lot of redness and inflammation in their skin, I'll put them on omega 3 fatty acids," she said. This supplement contains fish oil, which is known to help replenish skin with fats and helps it maintain smoothness and elasticity. Dr. Baumann also recommends taking XenaCare, aka SunPill, to treat any redness or problems caused by excess sun exposure. "If they get a lot of sun exposure, I'll put them on the SunPill (XenaCare) (Green tea extract, ashwaganda root extract, pomegranate extract, beet root, askaxanthin complex; other ingredients.) that contains a fern extract and antioxidants," she said. All those antioxidants and nutrients will help clear your skin in no time! Vitamin C supplements are also great for improving wrinkles and skin firmness. This vitamin helps increase collagen production, which assists in the repair and rejuvenation of your skin cells
CHIROPRACTIC: How Does Chiropractic Work? Many people seek chiropractic care when their back goes out or their neck tightens up. But how does this form of care actually work? What are the benefits of receiving chiropractic care for nerve dysfunction compared with other healthcare options? Let’s take a look! First, let’s discuss how the nervous system “works.” We have three divisions of the nervous system: the central, peripheral, and autonomic nervous systems. The central nervous system (CNS) includes the brain and spinal cord, and it’s essentially the main processing portion of the nervous system. The spinal cord is like a multi-lane highway that brings information to the brain for processing (sensory division) and returns information back to the toes, feet, legs, and upper extremities from which the information originated (motor division). For example, hiking on a mountain trail or simply walking requires constant input to and from the CNS so we can adjust our balance accordingly and not fall. These “sensory-motor pathways” are essential and allow us to complete our daily tasks in an efficient, safe manner as information is constantly bouncing back and forth between the brain and the rest of the body. There are obvious conditions that interfere with this communication process that include peripheral nerve damage from conditions like carpal/cubital tunnel syndromes, thoracic outlet syndrome, and/or pinched nerves in the neck, mid-back, low-back spinal regions. There are many other less obvious injuries or conditions that can result in faulty neuromotor patterns and nerve transmission of which chiropractic services can benefit. The “subluxation complex” is a term some chiropractors use to describe the compromised nerve transmission that may occur if a nerve is compressed or irritated due to faulty bone or joint position along the nerve’s course. Reducing such nerve compression typically allows for a restoration of function. A good illustration of this is a patient who suffers from a herniated disk in the neck with numbness and tingling down the arm to the hand. The goal of treatment (for all healthcare professionals) is to remove the pinch of the nerve. To realize this goal, doctors of chiropractic utilize spinal adjustments and mobilization in addition to other non-surgical, non-drug approaches that may include exercises, nutritional advice, home-care such as a cervical traction unit, and other anti-inflammatory measures (ice, modalities like low level and class IV laser, electric stimulation, pulsed magnetic field, and more). Given the minimal side-effect risks and well-reported benefits, it only makes sense to try chiropractic FIRST.
FUNNY BONES: Lying on his deathbed, a loving husband was wavering between life and death when he thought he smelled chocolate chip cookies baking. They were his very favourite, so he dragged himself out of bed, crawled to the kitchen and was just reaching up to take a cookie off the plate when his wife slapped his hand with a spatula. "Don't touch!" she commanded. "They're for the funeral."@@ “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”– Jay Leno@@“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”– George Carlin
Week of: Monday July 8, 2019
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
IN THE NEWS: More reasons why daily aspirin is not a good idea try some daily grape juice 60% more effective A study funded by the National Institutes of Health of more than 19,000 people over age 70, published last year in The New England Journal of Medicine, found that a daily aspirin didn’t reduce the risk of heart attack, dementia or stroke but did increase rates of GI bleeding by an alarming 38 percent. And earlier this month, the American College of Cardiology published new guidelines recommending against routinely giving aspirin to older adults who don't have a history of heart disease. Don’t stop taking a daily aspirin cold turkey. It can create a rebound effect that can trigger a heart attack, especially if you’ve already suffered one before. A 2017 Swedish study, published in the journal Circulation, found that abruptly stopping a daily aspirin raised the risk of a heart attack or stroke by 37 percent. Don't consider a daily aspirin if you have a history of GI bleeding or a history of ulcers, even if you have some of the above risk factors. Note: it’s disturbing that there is more than one study indicating aspirin doesn’t work. In fact the original researcher who discovered aspirin interferes with platelet aggregation (a cause for clots) also found aspirin doesn’t work if you’re under stress because stress hormones totally nullify the effects of aspirin with blood clots. That’s why this researcher recommends grape juice which he found 60% more effective than aspirin and stress hormones do not nullify its positive effect. Increase antioxidants in your diet and that will decrease the likelihood of many different types of disease.
WELLNESS: The benefits of grape seed extract Number 1, can reduce blood pressure studies have found 100-2000 mg of grape seed extract per day significantly reduce systolic blood pressure by an average of 6.08 mmHg and diastolic blood pressure by 2.8 mmHg. Number 2 can improve blood flow in a week study of 17 healthy postmenopausal women, taking 400 mg of grape seed extract had blood thinning effects, potentially reduce the risk of blood clots. An additional study showed that immediately following six hours of sitting it was shown to reduce leg swelling and edema by 70%. Number 3 can reduce oxidative damage. Oxidized cholesterol has been shown to be the only form of cholesterol that is harmful to the body. In one study, 61 healthy adults show a 13.9% reduction in oxidized cholesterol taking 400 mg of grape seed extract. Number 4 may improve collagen and bone strength. Increasing flavonoid consumption is proven to improve collagen synthesis and bone formation. Grape seed extract is a rich source of flavonoids. Considering rheumatoid arthritis some studies have shown that grape seed extract may suppress bone destruction in inflammatory autoimmune arthritis. Number 5 supports your brain as it ages. Studies have shown that grape seed extract may improve brain antioxidant and cognitive status, prevent memory loss and reduce brain lesions and protein clusters associated with Alzheimer's. Number 6 can improve kidney function. In one study, 23 people diagnosed with chronic renal failure were given 2 g of grape seed extract daily for six months and showed a decrease in urinary protein and kidney filtration improved by 9%. Number 7 can reduce cancer risk. The powerful antioxidant activity of grape seed extract has shown potential in inhibiting human breast, lung, gastric, oral squamous cell, liver, prostate and pancreatic lines in laboratory settings. Number 8 may protect your liver. Iin one study, 15 people with nonalcoholic fatty liver disease and subsequent high ALT levels were given grape seed extract for three months. After three months, the grape seed extract group had a 46% reduction in ALT, while the vitamin C group showed no change.
CHIROPRACTIC: BEATING ADDICTIONS What is the big killer in the U.S.? AIDS? Cancer? Heart Disease? Guess again - when you add up all of the accidents, suicides, overdoses and violent deaths due to drugs and alcohol, then drugs and alcohol addiction is the number one killer by far! A few years ago, Dr. J.M. Holder researched effects of auricular therapy (a form of acupuncture stimulation to the ear - a technique we have used here at Keefe Clinic since 1980). You may have read about that study in the papers then - it indicated that auricular therapy was the most effective therapy for drug addictions of the 178 government-approved therapies at that time! This study was released in the early 1990's and has started to revolutionize drug addiction programs across the country.Now to his next study: Dr. Holder reasoned that the effects demonstrated in the first study described above dealing with problems with the limbic system could be tied in to the effects that subluxations have on the nervous system. He knew that the limbic system is not just a compartment hidden in the center of the brain, but it also extends down the "dorsal horn" of the spinal column. He decided to test to see what Chiropractic adjustment intervention could do with this particular system of the nervous system. At the end of that study, the results were astonishing, even to Dr. Holder. After compiling all the data, he found that the combination of Chiropractic adjustments with counseling therapy approach to addiction and compulsive disorders produced far better results than any other test results for any other government-approved technique now available. His conclusion: for the 180 different addiction disorder techniques that have been tested, Chiropractic now proves to be the most effective, even more effective than the use of auricular therapy found previously so helpful. This means that: Chiropractic care, coupled with proper nutrition, electro-stimulation of points in the ear, and counseling is the best help currently available for individuals who have addictive-compulsive disorders.
FUNNY BONES: “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”– Emo Philips@@“How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.”– Emo Philips@@“Leave something for someone but don’t leave someone for something.”– Enid Blyton@@“The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”– Fred Allen@@“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”– George Burns
Week of: Monday July 1, 2019
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
IN THE NEWS: Shrimp contains cocaine, antibiotics and banned pesticides by: Lori Alton, staff writer | June 23, 2019 Shrimp cocktail – featuring ice-cold shrimp, tangy cocktail sauce and a slice of lemon – is a time-honored favorite of seafood lovers. But, new research from the UK shows that shrimp from rivers near London are contaminated with a very different kind of “cocktail” – in this case, a toxic mix of chemicals featuring cocaine, pharmaceutical drugs and dangerous pesticides. The new study, published in Environment International, showcases a dirty – and disturbing – trend in seafood. All over the world, scientists are finding chemical residues in shrimp, fish, mussels and eels – with frightening implications for human and environmental health. To conduct the study, scientists examined a species of local freshwater shrimp (Gammarus pulex) harvested from 15 sites in five different rivers in Suffolk County, a rural area northeast of London. And what they found – traces of 56 different pollutants, toxins and drugs of abuse – was stomach-turning. Shockingly, 100 percent of the shrimp contained trace amounts of cocaine – and this illicit drug accounted for the highest concentration of contaminants in the shrimp. Also found was lidocaine – an anesthetic used by cocaine dealers to “cut” the product and boost profits – and ketamine, a veterinary tranquilizer used recreationally by humans for its psychotropic effects. NOTE: Did you know? The liver is the most important detoxifying organ in the body. When the liver can’t effectively neutralize and dispose of toxins, they accumulate in the body. Ask about a detox program.
WELLNESS: How good oral hygiene helps to avoid a stroke by: Sara Middleton, staff writer | June 24, 2019 Did you realize that epidemiological data indicates a third of Americans never floss? This oral hygiene oversight could be a lot more problematic than you think – especially if you’re concerned about your cardiovascular system. Here’s how: It’s been well-established that proper oral hygiene can reduce your risk for gum disease (gingivitis). It’s also heart healthy, because bacteria in your mouth can leech into your bloodstream via damaged teeth and gums and infect your heart and blood vessels. Now, new research from the peer-reviewed Journal of the American Heart Association sheds a harsh light on exactly this mechanism and the severity of its impact. You may have heard of the “mind-body” connection before. But have you ever heard of the “mind-mouth” connection? Never could this be more true than for people who suffer a stroke, or “brain attack.” Researchers from Tampere University in Finland analyzed the blood clots (thrombi, or the singular thrombus) from acute 75 stroke victims. Nearly 8 out of 10 of these individuals had DNA in their samples that was consistent with oral bacteria, including the common Streptococcus mitis. Amazingly, there was more oral bacteria in the blood clot samples compared to blood taken elsewhere from these patients! Whether this indicates that oral bacteria cause stroke or are simply correlated with it, the overall consensus is clear: Oral bacteria “contribute to the progression and thrombotic events of cerebrovascular diseases.” In other words: not taking care of your oral health through spot-on oral hygiene is giving harmful bacteria a free pass into the rest of your body … where they can cause serious trouble!
CHIROPRACTIC: Surprise: Chiropractors Can Treat These Conditions By David Starr, Contributor Nov. 30, 2015 YOU MIGHT THINK chiropractors are only able to help with back aches, stiff necks, slipped discs and whiplash injuries. If so, you're not alone – but you're missing out. Chiropractic care – which is based on the understanding that, given the opportunity, the mind and body can heal itself – can treat many issues that might surprise you. 1. Migraines and tension headaches Research shows that spinal adjustments – the primary form of care provided by chiropractic doctors – is an effective way to treat tension headaches and headaches that begin in the neck. In a clinical trial conducted at Macquarie University, 72 percent of migraine sufferers experienced either "substantial" or "noticeable" improvement after a period of chiropractic treatment. 2. Stress and anxiety Chiropractors can release muscle tension, one effect of chronic stress that leads to nerve irritation and creates uneven pressures on the body's bony structures, which can cause the spinal column to become misaligned. This, in turn, helps the body return to a more balanced, relaxed state. Chiropractic adjustments can reduce spinal nerve irritation and improve blood circulation, which can help signal the brain to turn off the "fight or flight" response and begin the healing process. A doctor of chiropractic can suggest nutritional supplements, like B complex vitamins, to help the body cope with stress. A chiropractor can also recommend relaxation techniques and discuss posture and environmental changes to help you recover from chronic stress. 3. Fibromyalgia Fibromyalgia is a chronic disorder involving widespread pain and sensitivity throughout the entire musculoskeletal system. To be diagnosed with FM, a patient typically has a minimum of 11 out of 18 specific tender points on the body. In addition to pain, patients also report long-term fatigue and/or disturbed sleep and mood. Other disorders commonly associated with FM include irritable bowel syndrome, TMJ pain and dysfunction, psychological conditions and some autoimmune diseases. In one study, 60 percent of the subjects treated by a chiropractor experienced a significant improvement: reduced pain, improved sleep and decreased fatigue.
FUNNY BONE: During a patient’s two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. “Which one? ” I asked. “The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!” I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. —Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair to Ridiculously Funny Medical Stories@@ I was caring for a woman and asked, “So how’s your breakfast this morning?” “It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.” —Dr. Leonard Kransdorf@@ A woman in Arkansas brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for eardrops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil. The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label: “Put two drops in R ear every four hours.” – From Cafe Mom