Courtesy of:
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
(918) 663-1111
IN THE NEWS: Flu Vaccine Everyone knows about the flu and the flu vaccine. What people do not know is that flu vaccines are nearly useless in preventing flu, they will cause the flu, and they often result in nervous system damage that can take years for the body to repair. Other nations chuckle at Americans' infatuation with the flu vaccine. The joke would indeed be funny if it weren't for the damaging effects caused by the vaccine. A study published in the October 2008 issue of the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine found that vaccinating young children against the flu had no impact on flu-related hospitalizations or doctor visits during two recent flu seasons. The researchers concluded that “significant influenza vaccine effectiveness could not be demonstrated for any season, age, or setting” examined. A 2008 study published in the Lancet found that influenza vaccination was NOT associated with a reduced risk of pneumonia in older people. This also supports an earlier study, published in The New England Journal of Medicine. Research published in the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine also confirms that there has been no decrease in deaths from influenza and pneumonia in the elderly, despite the fact that vaccination coverage among the elderly has increased from 15 percent in 1980 to 65 percent now. In 2007, researchers with the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, and the National Institutes of Health published this conclusion in the Lancet Infectious Diseases: A large-scale, systematic review of 51 studies, published in the Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews in 2006, found no evidence that the flu vaccine is any more effective than a placebo in children under 2. The studies involved 260,000 children, age 6 to 23 months. NOTE: to prevent colds and flu’s control humidity, take vitamins A&D and C and get regular adjustments. Based on reports from the governments Vaccine Court the flu vaccine is the deadliest vaccine ever produced.
WELLNESS: NIXALL™ nature’s antibiotic. Is all natural, “truly a green product” Oxygenates and hydrates the skin Is Ph balanced Is destructive to staphylococcus and MRSA, Salmonella, E coli, viruses, bacteria, fungi and mold—even anthrax! Accelerates wound healing—can be sprayed directly on wounds and minor burns Deodorizes—transforms and freshens air Neutralizes sarin gas, mustard gas and nerve gas Hydrates and oxygenates the skin Is 100 times more efficient than bleach---and safer Controls fungi and viruses on plants Oxygenates and stimulates plant growth Is non-irritating, non-allergenic and non-stinging. Nixall is nature’s natural antibiotic safe for all ages and safe enough to spray directly in your eyes if you have an eye infection. Can be sprayed directly on fresh veggies and fruits, or dipped in the 10:1 solution for cleansing and to prolong freshness For mold/mildew, use full strength It is safe full strength—your skin feels refreshed and hydrated Can be used on scrapes, bruises, minor burns and wounds and rashes, full strength For nail fungus, soak 10 minutes daily for several days and then spray daily Spray counter tops, toilet seats, tubs, showers, clothes hampers, cell phones, etc Spray credit card devices, grocery cart handles, gas pump handles, restaurant tables, public toilets, etc Spray nose and mouth at the very suspicion of a “cold” or flu
CHIROPRACTIC: A truly unique and natural approach to health. Chiropractic offers true preventative care by enhancing function. Most healthcare approaches intervene after sickness has developed. Chiropractic is unique in that it can benefit the body before sickness strikes. Your body's intelligence working through the nervous system maintains healthy function. When you develop misalignments that intelligence is compromised allowing for dysfunction to develop. The time between a disruption in the communication channels of the body and symptoms can be months or years off. When you get regular chiropractic care you help the body maintain its regulation and control over every other system and part of the body. This is true preventative care. Some subtle signs other than pain that are warning signs of nerve pressure include: fatigue, irritability, a loss of appetite, altered moods, sleep problems, poor posture, subtle aches and pains. Studies have shown patients who get regular chiropractic care live a much healthier life. You just have one body, take care of it. A study published in the Human Journal of Hypertension showed that a chiropractic adjustment could give people suffering from high blood pressure the same effect as taking certain high blood pressure medications. Studies show that chiropractic care can help reduce pain better than many medications. It can assist in the relief or even the treatment of some health and body issues like sciatica, neck pain, ear infections, scoliosis, lower back pain, headaches, and frozen shoulder syndrome. Show others you care, recommend chiropractic to your family or friends.
FUNNY BONES: To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.@@ In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field. "We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper."
Courtesy of:
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
(918) 663-1111
IN THE NEWS: Phthalate Exposure Threatens Human Survival Total sperm counts in North America, Europe, Australia and New Zealand dropped by nearly 60 percent between 1973 and 2013 and there’s no evidence to suggest this downward trend is leveling off. Reduction in sperm production is a warning sign that men’s health is in serious jeopardy, as poor semen quality has been linked to a higher risk for diabetes, heart disease, cancer and early death. Along with sperm, men’s testosterone levels have dropped in recent decades as well, and exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals in utero and beyond appears to be a driving factor. Environmental estrogens such as phthalates have generational effects, which is why males are successively becoming increasingly more sterile with each passing generation. Studies have also linked phthalate exposure during early childhood with delayed puberty in girls, while other research warns that phthalates in makeup and personal care products can trigger early menopause. Phthalates are particularly prevalent in personal care products, which is why women tend to have higher levels in their system than men. Higher levels are also evident in people who regularly eat fast food, as the food is packaged in plastic and/or nonstick wrappers. NOTE: You should consider detoxing once or twice a year. We can check for the need.
WELLNESS: Common Painkiller Is Causing Many Heart Attacks Nearly 25 million American adults suffer from pain on a daily basis, many of whom reach for over-the-counter (OTC) nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory (NSAID) drugs to ease their discomfort. Research shows a high risk of heart attack associated with diclofenac, an OTC NSAID researchers strongly recommend become a prescription drug; data revealed ibuprofen and naproxen increased heart attack risk 30 percent greater than taking no drug. Risks associated with NSAIDs include gastrointestinal bleeding, hearing loss, miscarriage and increased risk of bone loss. Consider using several natural strategies to reduce inflammation and pain without associated life-altering side effects, such as ginger, curcumin, astaxanthin and severely limiting sugar and grains. NOTE: Most pain conditions can be controlled through natural healthcare: chiropractic, acupuncture, nutritional therapy and electrotherapy. Don’t risk your life, seek solutions for your health problem.
CHIROPRACTIC: Is It My Low Back Or My Hip? When patients present with low back pain, it is not uncommon for pain to arise from areas other than the low back, such as the hip. There are many tissues in the low back and hip region that are susceptible to injury with have overlapping pain pathways that often make it challenging to isolate the truly injured area. Hip pain can present in many different ways. When considering the anatomy of the low back (lumbar spine) and hip, and the nerves that innervate the hip come from the low back, it’s no wonder that differentiating between the two conditions is often difficult. Complaints may include the inside, outside, front, or back of the thigh, the knee, the buttocks, the sacroiliac joint, or the low back and yet, the hip may truly be the pain generator with any of these presentations. To make diagnosis even more complex, the hip pain patient may present one day with what appears to be sciatic nerve pain (that is, pain shooting down the back of the leg to the knee if mild or to the foot if more severe) but the next visit, with only groin pain. When pain radiates down a leg, the almost automatic impression by both the patient and their healthcare provider is, “…it’s a pinched nerve.” But again, it could be the hip and NOT a pinched nerve that is creating the leg pain pattern. Throwing yet another wrench in the works is the fact that a patient can have more than one condition at the same time. So, they truly MAY simultaneously have BOTH a low back problem AND a hip problem. In fact, its actually unusual to x-ray the low back of a hip pain patient without seeing some low back condition(s) like degenerative disk disease, osteoarthritis (spurs off the vertebrae), or combination of these. So, how do we differentiate between hip vs. low back pain when it is common for both low back and hip pain to often coincide? When we ask the hip pain patient to point to the area of greatest discomfort, they usually point to the front of the hip or groin, and less often to the inner and/or anterior thigh or knee. Non-weight bearing positions like sitting or lying are almost always immediately pain relieving. When there is arthritis in the hip, motion loss is often reported and may include a shorter walking stride and pain usually gets worse the longer these patients are on their feet. Initiating motion often hurts, sometimes even in bed when rolling over. During the chiropractic examination, with the patient lying on the back with the knee and hip both bent 90°, moving the bent knee outwards or inwards will almost always reproduce hip/groin area pain. Pulling on or applying traction to the affected leg usually, “…feels good.” Knee & ankle reflexes and sensation are normal but muscle strength may be weak due to pain. Bending the low back into different positions does not reproduce pain if the pain is only coming from the hip. Though sometimes challenging, doctors of chiropractic are well-trained to be able to differentiate between hip and low back pain and will treat both areas when it is appropriate.
FUNNY BONES: I made a beginner’s mistake and went shopping on an empty stomach. I am now the happy owner of aisle 7@@ I have a very good feeling about my job interview today. The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible. “You’ve found your man,” I responded, “whenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible!”@@ Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and he’s going to spend a fortune on gear he’ll only be using twice a year.
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Winter time humidity is a big issue. As the weather turns colder and the heaters start working 24/7 then the indoor air will start drying out.
Studies have shown that dry air has four main effects on the human body:
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As your body fights the dry air you start to use up your vitamin A stores. This enhances the dry skin and sinus problems as well as weakens your immune system. It is important that you have a humidity gauge in each bedroom and a cool mist humidifier to combat the dry air. I recommend the ultrasonic humidifiers as they put the most water in the air.
Dry skin, Chapped lips, Clogged sinuses, Itchy skin, Dry throat coughs, Cracked nasal membranes, Increased risk of bacteria infection, Aggravated asthma & allergy symptoms
You may also notice these changes around your home:
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Drier air causes sinuses to dry and crack, making people more susceptible to winter colds and flu viruses. In fact, this change from higher outside relative humidity to lower indoor relative humidity in the winter is a significant contributing factor in the spread of colds and flus. By maintaining the proper level of humidity indoors, you reduce illness in the winter. Studies have shown that the body's immune system will function better when the relative humidity in a home is between 45%-65%.
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Pneumococcus, staphylococcus, and streptococcus bacteria die up to 20 times faster at a relative humidity between 45% and 55%, than above 70% or below 20%. Dehydration can also cause negative health effects. Symptoms of dehydration include dry skin, chronic joint and muscle pain, raspy throat, sinus and nasal pain, sore eyes, a lack of mental concentration, and a decrease in the body's immune system.
| The most comfortable relative humidity for the human body | 45-65%RH |
| Ideal relative humidity for prophylactic and curative purposes | 40-50%RH |
| Computer and telecom apparatuses | 45-65%RH |
| Furniture and musical instruments | 40-60%RH |
| Libraries (books), art galleries and museums | 40-60%RH |
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Dry air can cause or irritate sinus problems, but inhaling moisture can help. Simply breathing the steam from a hot shower will ease congestion.
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You can also enhance the steam you breathe with sinus-clearing essential oils. Once or twice a day, add five drops of eucalyptus (Eucalyptus globulus), lavender (Lavandula angustifolia), or sandalwood (Santalum album) essential oils (or a combination) to a large bowl of steaming-hot water, suggests Sylvia Goldfarb, Ph.D., of Wyncote, Pa., author of Allergy Relief (Avery Penguin Putnam, 2000). Drape a towel over your head and the bowl, and breathe deeply for 10 minutes. You'll feel relief within that time.
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To treat acute sinusitis, substitute tea tree oil (Melaleuca alternifolia) and repeat the sinus steam three to four times daily. Tea tree oil's powerful antibacterial properties fight the bacteria that cause many infections," says Karen Barnes, N.D., a naturopath in Burlington, Ontario, and author of Naturopathic First Aid (Quarry Press, 2001). Your symptoms should clear up within a few days.
Rinsing your sinuses with saltwater helps them drain mucus. Studies show that this significantly reduced symptoms like pain and inflammation in more than 2/3 of sinusitis sufferers. Heatley says recommending nasal irrigation to her patients cut the number of sinus surgeries she performed in half.
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To rinse your sinuses, use a neti pot, a small teapot-like device sold at most natural food stores. Combine three parts non-iodized salt and one part baking soda, and add 1/2 teaspoon of this mixture to 1/2 cup of warm water in the pot. This solution matches your body's salinity, and baking soda makes it less irritating to your sinuses.
Lean over a sink and insert the spout of the pot into your left nostril. Tilt your head and the pot to the right and let the solution flow out your right nostril. Exhale forcefully through both nostrils and repeat on the other side. Repeat as needed.
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The zing of certain spices opens clogged sinuses and promotes drainage. As condiments, use hot salsas or chutneys that contain chiles, or sprinkle cayenne pepper on your food, recommends Goldfarb or use wasabi.
Courtesy of:
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
(918) 663-1111
IN THE NEWS: What Are Poppy Seeds Good For? The poppy plant (Papaver somniferum) is infamous for numerous reasons; one of them being that it is the source of opium, a highly addictive narcotic. But despite its notoriety, the poppy plant is also the source of one of the most loved pastry ingredients in the world: poppy seeds. They are well-known for adding a crunch to various confections and desserts. Poppy seed oil, which can be used as both a culinary and a medicinal oil, can be extracted from them as well. Being a product of a relatively infamous plant, the health benefits of poppy seeds have been questioned time and time again. People fear that the seeds may cause the same narcotic effects that other poppy products give. However, poppy seeds actually offer impressive nutritional components that can help your body improve or maintain optimal function. The health benefits of poppy seeds include the following: Aids in the prevention of heart disorders. Each serving of poppy seed contains a considerable amount of linoleic acid, an omega-6 fatty acid that offer protection against heart disease.8 However, it should be noted that excessive amounts of omega-6 fatty acids can still cause detrimental effects on the body. A healthy balance of omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids is highly recommended to maintain heart health. Supports bone maintenance and development. Poppy seeds contain both iron and phosphorus, minerals essential for the maintenance of both muscles and bones. Prevents constipation and other digestive problems. Poppy seeds have high amounts of dietary fiber, which aids the digestive system in metabolizing and smoothly processing ingested food, preventing constipation and other digestive problems. Enhances brain function. Calcium, iron and magnesium are minerals needed by the body to regulate brain activity and the development of neurons. They also aid in the production of neurotransmitters. Assists in red blood cell production. The abundance of copper and iron in poppy seeds improves red blood cell formation, which helps in the prevention of anemia and other blood-related conditions. Helps deal with sleeplessness. Taking a teaspoon of poppy seed oil before going to bed has been observed to help ease the symptoms of insomnia by promoting relaxation.
WELLNESS: 4 Times Better Than Beets for Increasing Nitric Oxide and Lowering Blood Pressure is a relative of the cruciferous family, which includes radishes, cauliflower and broccoli. Like other members of this family, it contains a number of medicinal nutrients, including cancer-fighting compounds. It’s an excellent source of fiber, vitamins A, C and K, folate, calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium and manganese. Arugula also provides high levels of protein, thiamin, riboflavin, vitamin B6, zinc, copper and pantothenic acid (vitamin B5). Arugula contains the highest amounts of nitrates of any vegetable. Your body uses the nitrates in food as raw material to make nitric oxide, which supports healthy blood vessel function, blood pressure and mitochondrial health. Easy to grow, arugula can be grown in your garden to maturity in about 40 days, or harvested after just a week or two of growth, when nutrients are at their peak. Arugula9 is a cool season crop, and can be added to your fall garden plantings. It’s forgiving in that it can tolerate low-fertility soils and frost, and is really easy to care for, although it does best in humus-rich soils with a pH between 6 and 6.8. Seeds germinate best at temperatures between 40 and 55 degrees F. Plant your seeds directly into your garden bed, but avoid planting them in a spot where you just harvested another cabbage family crop.
CHIROPRACTIC: CHIROPRACTIC: EMOTIONAL WELL BEING AND BEATING ADDICTIONS A few years ago, Dr. J.M. Holder researched effects of auricular therapy (a form of acupuncture stimulation to the ear - a technique we have used here at Keefe Clinic since 1980). You may have read about that study in the papers then - it indicated that auricular therapy was the most effective therapy for drug addictions of the 178 government-approved therapies at that time! This study was released in the early 1990's and has started to revolutionize drug addiction programs across the country. Now to his next study: Dr. Holder reasoned that the effects demonstrated in the first study described above dealing with problems with the limbic system could be tied in to the effects that subluxations have on the nervous system. He knew that the limbic system is not just a compartment hidden in the center of the brain, but it also extends down the "dorsal horn" of the spinal column. He decided to test to see what Chiropractic adjustment intervention could do with this particular system of the nervous system. This is what is called the "brain reward cascade” is a scientific model that has the vertebral motor unit as its common denominator which provides an understanding to the neurophysiological mechanism on how the meso-Limbic system expresses a state of well-being. Therefore, a subluxation-free spine is mandatory to express one's greatest potential. At the end of that study, the results were astonishing, even to Dr. Holder. After compiling all the data, he found that the combination of Chiropractic adjustments with counseling therapy approach to addiction and compulsive disorders produced far better results than any other test results for any other government-approved technique now available. His conclusion: for the 180 different addiction disorder techniques that have been tested, Chiropractic now proves to be the most effective, even more effective than the use of auricular therapy found previously so helpful. This means that: Chiropractic care, coupled with proper nutrition, electro-stimulation of points in the ear, and counseling is the best help currently available for individuals who have addictive-compulsive disorders.
FUNNY BONE: What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.@@A Mexican magician tells the audience that he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." *Proof*... He disappears without a tres.@@I just left my job. I couldn't work for the man after what he said to me. What did he say? "You're fired"@@ what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? I don't know. What? A condescending con descending.@@I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Now I live in constant fear.@@What time is it? I don’t know. It keeps changing.@@If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?@@Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.@@“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.” @@The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
No matter how old you are, chances are the #1 way others perceive your age is through the largest organ on your body: skin.
But the extent of showing natural signs of aging is not totally up to fate. In fact, lifestyle factors have a lot of say in the matter.
Stress levels and food choices affect how our genes express themselves. That may sound scary, but it’s actually great news. It means we have significant control over a topic that’s gaining steam in wellness and beauty circles: the accelerated breakdown of collagen.
But first … why is collagen so important when it comes to appearance and skin health? Collagen is actually the most abundant protein in the human body. Seventy percent of skin, hair and nails and nearly 100 percent of connective tissues are collagen. It literally holds you together: from the hairs on your head to every inch of your skin, to your joint comfort and mobility. It even impacts the overall health of your gut including gut integrity.
But here’s the problem...
As we age, our bodies’ natural production of collagen slows dramatically. Over 25? You’re probably losing collagen.
And as collagen levels lower in the body, skin typically starts “looking older,” with less elasticity, vibrancy and hydration. Creaky joints and gut disturbances can also set it. Dropping collagen levels could even mean thinner hair and brittle nails.
This decrease in collagen can result in less mobility, muscle mass, muscle performance and skin health.
But it’s not just the natural aging process robbing us of our collagen … there are other “thieves” hiding out as modern-day hazards...
Thankfully, natural collagen boosters exist.
All of the above are great collagen boosters, but I believe none of them compare to the greatest collagen booster in the world: collagen itself that comes from food sources like chicken broth, beef broth, wild fish broth and eggshell membranes.
Courtesy of:
John H. Keefe III, D.C.
(918) 663-1111
IN THE NEWS: Dirt Don’t Hurt When it comes to keeping your children healthy, most parents are cautious, if not hypervigilant, over-sterilizing their environments so their children never get dirty and overusing antibacterial soaps. In years past, parents served (and the kids ate) fermented foods containing good bacteria and allowed them to get dirty outside and play with animals on a regular basis, a stark contrast to many kids today. Soil-based organisms (SBOs) may help to stimulate your immune system, reduce inflammation and aid in detoxification. In 2012, the National Institutes of Health's Human Microbiome Project, five years in the making, concluded that humans are essentially superorganisms with microbes that outnumber our own cells 10 to 1. In a fascinating article, The Atlantic reported that some scientists think health care, in response, will begin focusing "less on traditional illnesses and more on treating disorders of the human microbiome" with targeted microbial species and therapeutic foods for gut health. In studies of what is called the hygiene hypothesis, researchers are concluding that organisms like the millions of bacteria, viruses and especially worms that enter the body along with “dirt” spur the development of a healthy immune system. Several continuing studies suggest that worms may help to redirect an immune system that has gone awry and resulted in autoimmune disorders, allergies and asthma. These studies, along with epidemiological observations, seem to explain why immune system disorders like multiple sclerosis, Type 1 diabetes, inflammatory bowel disease, asthma and allergies have risen significantly in the United States and other developed countries.
WELLNESS: Study Reveals Previously Unknown Mechanism Behind Acupuncture’s Ability to Reduce Pain Research suggests acupuncture can be an effective treatment for pain. Clear and robust effects have been found in the treatment of back pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, osteoarthritis, and headaches. When properly administered to elicit de qi, acupuncture results in the release of nitric oxide (NO) at the acupuncture site, which in turn encourages the release of natural analgesics in your body. Previous research shows acupuncture deactivates certain parts of your brain, thereby altering your experience of pain.I n a 2012 analysis of 29 published studies involving more than 17,900 participants, researchers concluded that acupuncture has a definite effect in reducing chronic pain — more so than standard pain treatment. Real acupuncture also produced slightly better results than using sham needles, which suggests the benefits of needling are due to more than the placebo effect. Acupuncture can be looked at as point stimulation. Different points affect the body in different ways and knowledge of which line of points to stimulate with a given condition is the basis of acupuncture. When stimulation can be done not only with needles but with electrical current, magnets, tiny pellets or tiny, what look like thumbtacks, called press needles that can be worn for several days. Ask if acupuncture can benefit you.
CONDITION OF THE WEEK: Natural healthcare can help you In 1993 the American Medical Association did a survey of health habits of Americans and found that more Americans visited doctors that practiced natural healthcare than doctors practice drug therapy and surgery. There are many reasons for this shift in healthcare. Some people are concerned about the side effects that drugs have, (2000 deaths per week noble 1 million injuries per year), some people have a sense of body ecology and don't want to put any artificial substances within their body. Some people have discovered drugs mainly cover-up symptoms and never get to the root of your problem, and are more concerned with maximizing their health than just making some symptoms disappear. I'm sure you have seen either a popular magazine or news program on TV, the benefits of different natural healthcare techniques. Chiropractic is the world's largest natural healthcare profession and specializes in finding the root cause of health problems and helping restore patients to better health through natural methods. At Keefe clinic these are the principles that we specialize in. We promise you that we will not just cover-up your symptoms and allow the underlying condition time to get worse. Chiropractic care, homeopathic care, individualized diet, acupuncture, nutritional therapy, muscle therapy and exercise, whatever it takes to move your body from disease to health, dysfunction to realizing your genetic potentials. We will customize a program to fit your particular health needs, from low back pain and headaches to digestive problems and PMS. From ear infections in babies to arthritis or heart disease and the geriatric patient, we offer the latest and natural healthcare. If you have a health problem or suffering from some painful condition I would like to invite you to come in for complete complimentary consultation, or, if you have been looking for a clinic that offers natural healthcare and want to get started rebuilding your health, please give Keefe clinic call at 918-663-1111. We offer classic diagnostic testing as well as unique state-of-the-art innovative testing take weeks the natural healthcare field to help understand the nature of your particular health issues and help customize a treatment program. We offer comprehensive natural family care. Come join the revolution. Learn how to take control of your health needs. For more information visit our website: www.Keefeclinic.com
FUNNY BONE: Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.@@The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"@@Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.@@ In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"@@Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo. Men 1952: I just fixed the roof. Men 2018: I just shaved my legs.
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