WEEKLY HEALTH UPDATE

Week of: Monday Sept. 30 , 2019

Courtesy of:

John H. Keefe III, D.C.

(918) 663-1111

IN THE NEWS: The Disappearing Medical Exemption to Vaccination Americans from all walks of life are describing the trauma of being threatened, coerced and punished by doctors violating the informed consent ethic, who have abandoned the precautionary principle of “First, do no harm”. 1 in 3 people in the U.S. avoid seeking medical care because they don’t like the way doctors made them feel and have low confidence in their doctors’ competence. 45% of American adults doubt the safety of vaccines and 27% of those cited either knowledge of past secrets and wrongdoing by the pharmaceutical industry or by the government. The authoritarian abuse of power held by doctors over patients and parents of minor children does the greatest damage to trust. The forced vaccination lobby is putting pressure on state legislators to make private doctors agents of the state by taking away their legal right to grant children a medical exemption if it does not conform to narrow vaccine contraindications approved by the CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunizations Practices (ACIP). Evidence for “consistent high-level protection is elusive,” the researchers concluded. Although vaccination was found to provide modest protection from infection in young healthy adults who rarely have complications of flu, the authors found that “evidence for protection in adults 65 years of age and older [who represent over 90% of deaths from flu] . . . is lacking.” (BMJ News Belief not science is behind flu jab promotion BMJ2012;345 doi: http://dx.doi.org/10.1136/bmj.e7856 (Published 19 November 2012) A new Canadian-led study concludes that immunizing nursing-home workers does nothing to cut the number of confirmed influenza cases among the homes’ elderly residents. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews February 17, 2010;2:CD005187 A typical dose of thimerosal-containing flu vaccine contains 25 micrograms thimerosal. According to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the safe limit for human exposure to mercury is 0.1 mcg per kilo of weight per day.

CHIROPRACTIC: American Chiropractic Association (ACA) has announced a national health care observance–October is National Chiropractic Month  

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WITH A HEALTH PROBLEM OR IN PAIN? INVITE YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO THE PARTY Who do you know who is hurting? Who do you know that you have been trying to get started at Keefe Clinic? Now is the time to get your spouse or child started on the road to good health. Complimentary  DIAGNOSTIC WORK UP DURING OCTOBER Complimentary initial exam and one X-ray. Tell someone today

WELLNESS: Empathy: Caring for Others Is Good for You  Empathy, the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, so to speak, and understand their feelings and point of view, is a character trait that may benefit society and individuals in multiple ways. Empathy training has been found to reduce stress levels among medical students facing intense emotional encounters with patients, for example. While many parents try to instill empathetic qualities in their children, there’s growing research that empathy has deep neurological roots in humans. Empathy has complex neurological underpinnings that control the way our brains help us to care about other people. Humans have “mirror neurons” that react to others’ emotions and reproduce them; a deficit in mirror neuron receptors has been suggested as an explanation for narcissism and neurotic behaviors. Researchers found that empathy was positively associated with treatment adherence, patient satisfaction and reduced dental anxiety, sentiments that seem to be echoed among medical practitioners. Among adolescents, empathy may even go hand in hand with future success, according to licensed professional counselor Ugo Uche:“Teenagers who are empathetic tend to be more purpose driven and they intentionally succeed in their academics not because they are looking to make good grades, but in most subjects their goal is to understand the subject material and to utilize the knowledge as one of their ever-increasing tools …Teenagers who are more empathetic do a much better job in embracing failure, because there is little ego involved in their tasks, and setbacks while disappointing are rarely seen as failures, but rather as a learning experience about an approach that does not work for the task at hand.” Practicing empathy may help you relieve stress, strengthen your relationships and have a more satisfying work life.

FUNNY BONE: The last time we changed from daylight saving time, a preacher friend posted, “For those who habitually show up 15 minutes late to church, allow me to remind you that tonight is the night you set your clock back 45 minutes.”@@ Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope. @@ After an elderly couple starts getting forgetful, they visit their doctor. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, “Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won’t forget? “Nonsense,” says the husband. “I can remember a dish of ice cream. “Well, I’d also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it,” the wife replies. “My memory’s not all that bad,” says the husband. “No problem — a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don’t need to write it down.” He goes into the kitchen, and his wife hears pots and pans banging. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. She looks at the plate and asks, “Hey, where’s the toast I asked for?”

WEEKLY HEALTH UPDATE

Week of: Monday Sept. 23, 2019

Courtesy of:

John H. Keefe III, D.C.                                                  

(918) 663-1111

IN THE NEWS: Study On plastic In Children’s Bodies Shows Alarming, Concerning Results Convenience is a big part of modern life. I know I love being able to stop in at any convenience store and pick up a bottle of soda and the ease of using and storing my Tupperware. But at what expense does that convenience come? That’s one question raised after a new study on plastic in children’s bodies revealed we could be doing more damage than we think to future generations as we seek to make life simpler and faster. The study was a joint effort of the German Environment Agency and the Robert Koch Institute. The results were recently published in Der Speigel, a german magazine. For the study, researchers analyzed blood and urine samples from 2,500 kids — between the ages of 3 to 17 — from 2014 to 2017. The samples were tested for 15 plastic ingredients, and results showed that an alarming 97 percent of the samples tested positive, according to Raw Story. A compound called perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA) was of special concern as it was found in 20 percent of children tested. Younger children had an even higher concentration of PFOA in their samples. PFOA is found in things like waterproof clothing, paper or cardboard packaging, or nonstick pan coating, and is carcinogenic in animal testing, according to WedMD. And that’s concerning because while “more research is needed to assess the human health effects of exposure,” research involving animals has shown that exposure to large amounts of PFOA can “affect growth and development, reproduction, and injure the liver,” according to U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). So, what can we use instead? Glass and stainless steel are two good options for replacing many household-use plastics, as Outside recommends. It may not be as convenient to carry around a glass bottle for my Starbucks, but if it’s choice between that and potentially poisoning children, it’s well worth the effort.

WELLNESS: About 70% of Americans drink fluoridated water.  They’re all at a higher risk of hypothyroidism and worse. When the government added to our drinking water it was hailed as one of the greatest public health achievements of the 20th century.  It was sold to the public as the end to dental cavities. But new research shows drinking fluoridated water greatly increases your risk of developing an underactive thyroid or hypothyroidism. They found that in areas with fluoride levels above 0.3 mg of fluoride per liter of water, rates of hypothyroidism were 30% higher. That’s really bad news for Americans.  In the U.S. the recommended level of fluoride in the water is 0.7 mg/L, or more than twice the level found to be a problem in England. The dirty little truth about fluoride is that it’s a toxic industrial waste. It’s a byproduct of uranium enrichment, aluminum smelting, and phosphate fertilizers. Fluoride became the darling of dentists and public health authorities just before World War II thanks to bad science.  H. Trendley Dean was a dentist then working for the U.S. Public Health Service.  He conducted a study of tooth decay in 345 communities in Texas.  It wasn’t until years later that scientists reviewing Dean’s Texas study found out how flawed it was.  Dr. Dean had selectively used findings from 21 cities to support his conclusions.  He ignored data from 272 communities that did not support his results. Since Dean’s first study, there have been no double-blind studies proving that fluoride in the water reduces cavities.  The World Health Organization (WHO) found no difference in tooth decay between countries that fluoridate their water and those that do not. In fact, science shows that fluoride increases cavities. In addition to hypothyroidism, studies prove other serious health dangers of fluoride: Heart Disease, Brain Damage, and Low IQs, Cancer, Weakens Bones, Increases ADHD. NOTE: Fluoride is not the only reason we recommend filtered water there are other chemicals in our water supply that you should avoid, also get fluoride-free toothpaste you can get that at the health food store, read labels.

CHIROPRACTIC: MY STORY I can still remember seeing my firstborn tied down to the hospital bed clinging to life. When the doctor came in that evening he told us they’ve done everything they know to do and we would just have to hope for the best. That’s when I thought about chiropractic and how the chiropractor I was going to not only helped my mother with back pain after an injury but how he resolved my Bell’s palsy. We stood face-to-face with the limitations of drug therapy and were introduced to the power of proper diet and restoring the communication channels within the body through chiropractic adjustments. I learned firsthand the powerful ability of the body to heal itself given the right environment. Within a very short time after a few adjustments and dietary changes I had my son back. I hate to think how things could have been different if our family wasn’t introduced to chiropractic from a friend’s referral after my mother hurt her back. Who do you know who suffers from some health problem or painful condition? Tell them about chiropractic.
http://www.keefeclinic.com/wp/my-story-by-dr-john-keefe/

FUNNY BONES: Getting Old  You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. @@ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. @@ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. @@ Ahh, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. @@ Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you. @@ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old. @@ First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper, then…Oh, my goodness, you forgot to pull your zipper down! @@ If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??

WEEKLY HEALTH UPDATE

Week of: Monday Sept 16, 2019

Courtesy of:

John H. Keefe III, D.C.

(918) 663-1111

IN THE NEWS: Regenerating New Zealand: Using nature to restore forests The documentary, “Fools and Dreamers: Regenerating a Native Forest,” features botanist and nature buff Hugh Wilson and his work to regenerate 1,500 hectares (3,706 acres) of native forest in New Zealand. The film shows how conservationists used the power of nature to regenerate native forests. Under the theory of “minimal interference,” Wilson and others embraced the presence of an exotic native “weed” called gorse to turn pastureland into a thriving forest. Gorse, which is hated and considered a nuisance by pastoral farmers, helped regenerate forests by providing a canopy for native forest plants to grow and thrive. Gorse grows fast in full sunlight, which allows other plants to grow underneath it, such as shade-tolerant trees. This is how gorse provides the perfect canopy for native forest plants to grow and thrive. It’s also an excellent nitrogen fixer, which means it fertilizers the soil, and in turn, promotes new plant life. Another benefit to gorse is that it can stop steep hillsides from eroding due to its ability to spread and cover the ground in dense vegetation. Restoring forests provides many benefits, including an increase in native vegetation and biodiversity, improved water flow and carbon sequestration, which help fight climate change by capturing excess atmospheric carbon and storing it in the soil.

WELLNESS: Males and females react differently to the same pain Research into the gender differences of pain perception is meant to lead to better implications for pain management among men and women. Roger Fillingim, Ph.D., has been studying this area and finds women experience pain differently in peripheral stimuli and central sensitization. In studies involving men and women exposed to identical pain stimuli, women rated the pain higher on the pain scale, which Fillingim finds consistent with data from other research. In addition to sex hormones, other factors affecting pain perception include emotions, attitude, age and a learned response from past experience. Women suffer from anxiety at a greater rate than men and have a greater likelihood of being prescribed a combination of drugs that clinical guidelines caution against. Providing psychological support for anxiety and depression can reduce the use of analgesics and increase an individual’s sense of control. If you are struggling with opioid addiction, please seek professional medical help immediately. If you are dealing with any type of chronic disease or pain, making changes to your lifestyle and diet may produce significant results, including reducing the pain. Additionally, consider natural, safe and effective pain treatment alternatives rather than over-the-counter or prescription painkillers. NOTE: With the ever-rising death rate and addiction rate with painkillers now is the time to turn to chiropractic and natural healthcare for chronic pain. Do you know someone who’s in pain? Tell them about chiropractic.

CHIROPRACTIC: Chiropractic care for pain relief Updated: June 6, 2018  Harvard Health Publishing Chiropractic is a system of therapy focused on the structure of the body, particularly the spine. Chiropractors adjust the body’s alignment to relieve pain and improve function and to help the body heal itself. While the mainstay of chiropractic is spinal adjustment, chiropractic care may also include other treatments, including manual or adjustment therapies, postural and exercise education, and ergonomic training (how to walk, sit, and stand to limit back strain), diet and nutritional therapy and stress relief among others. Chiropractors today often work in conjunction with primary care doctors, pain experts, and surgeons to treat patients with pain. The most positive research on chiropractic therapy has focused on spinal manipulation for low back pain. As one of the alternatives to pain-relieving drugs, the American College of Physicians low back pain guideline recommends spinal manipulation along with heat, massage and acupuncture.

FUNNY BONE: “Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.”– Bob Thaves@@ “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”– Charles Wadsworth@@ “Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”– Doug Larson@@ “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”– George Burns@@“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”– George Carlin@@“To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.”– George W. Bush@@“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”– H. L. Mencken@@”Can you please hold my hand? “ A mother asks her son: “Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?” -Son: “My name is Paul.”@@Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.” Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”  Doctor: “Every two hours.”@@ Policeman: I’m very sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife got hit by a bus.- Man: I’m aware of that, but Karen has a wonderful personality.

WEEKLY HEALTH UPDATE

Week of: Monday Sept. 9, 2019

Courtesy of:

John H. Keefe III, D.C.

(918) 663-1111

IN THE NEWS: 4 vitamin C myths exposed Vitamin C, also known as ascorbic acid, is one of the most talked-about (and studied) vitamins on the planet.  Yet, despite all the scientific evidence, we still have too many people confused about its benefits – thanks to many misleading “nutritional” articles. But, to be perfectly clear, vitamin C is absolutely essential for cardiovascular and immune system health. In the 1980s, Nobel Prize-winning researcher Linus Pauling definitively linked vitamin C with heart health – and stressed the importance of sufficient supplementation. Now, integrative cardiologists – including Mathias Rath, M.D., and Thomas E. Levy, MD, JD – are continuing Pauling’s lifesaving work. Unfortunately, too many conventionally-trained physicians view high-dosage vitamin C therapy with skepticism – no matter how impressive the results.  Having said that, today we’ll focus on 4 of the greatest myths surrounding vitamin C. Myth #1: There are no studies on vitamin C In his book Primal Panacea, high-dosage vitamin C pioneer Dr. Levy calls this statement “medical malpractice” and says it would be understandable if voiced by a mechanic or stonemason – but not by a physician. Dr. Levy points out that a simple PubMed search yields over 60,000 studies on vitamin C – many of them showing positive effects on human health. Myth #2: There is no evidence that vitamin C works Again, this is absurd. Dr. Levy references over 1,200 studies showing beneficial effects – and says this only “scratches the surface” of what is known about vitamin C’s therapeutic abilities. Myth #3: Vitamin C is unsafe With a superlative safety profile (and no known lethal dose) vitamin C appears to be one of the safest substances on earth.  In fact, natural health experts note that plain water is more toxic than vitamin C. Myth #4: You can get enough vitamin C through diet The current RDA for nonsmoking adults is a paltry 60 mg of vitamin C a day – roughly the amount in one small orange.  Although this is enough to prevent the serious medical condition known as scurvy, natural health experts decry it as ridiculously low. Of course, more vitamin C is required to combat atherosclerosis and heart disease.  In fact, one study showed that it takes 1,500 mg per day to prevent or reverse atherosclerosis in 60 percent or more of the population.

WELLNESS: Popular eating program for kids sparks controversy Although market researchers anticipate strong growth in the weight loss industry, WW, the company is formerly known as Weight Watchers, has posted a loss after rebranding in 2018. One move to regain ground was to release an app aimed at children as young as 8 to address childhood obesity. Although publicly aimed at helping children develop good habits with an app, the company’s stated goal for the new app was to impact 10 million lives with 5 million in the program and another 5 million using other company content by 2020. The announcement angered parents and nutritionists who believe this may give rise to unhealthy eating habits and eating disorders. The app release came one year after the company offered free summer participation for children ages 13 to 17. The original app was designed to help young people develop healthy eating patterns, while the overhaul from WW gives parents greater involvement. It has a paid subscription and allows children to input body measurements to track weight loss. Calorie counting is not the answer to weight loss. NOTE: ask us about weight loss.

CHIROPRACTIC: Legal eagle goes after opioid wholesale distributors While the opioid crisis has received a significant amount of attention, and strategies have been put into place to try to curb the epidemic of overuse and misuse, few of the responsible parties have been held to account. One West Virginia attorney has sued opioid wholesale distributors using a state nuisance statute. Distributors should have reported suspicious activity, yet didn’t. Farrell charges that this unlawful conduct is what has given rise to the public nuisance of rampant opioid addiction. Cardinal Health, one of the three largest opioid distributors in the U.S., denies accountability, blaming the opioid crisis on doctors, pharmacists, regulators and the Drug Enforcement Agency. However, there’s ample evidence showing Cardinal Health ignored suspiciously large orders, shipping an alarming number of pills into areas that should have raised big red warning flags. Wholesale distributors shipped 76 billion opioid pills across the U.S. between 2006 and 2012, more than 10 billion of which came through Cardinal Health. NOTE: Recently Oklahoma was awarded $1 billion from multiple companies that are responsible for the largest drug addiction problem. The number one reason people go to doctors for pain is due to spinal pain. Multiple government studies have shown chiropractic to be the most effective treatment for back pain. Unfortunately due to insurance steering too many people find themselves in a medical doctor’s office with back pain and the medical doctor is going to prescribe drugs. That’s what medical doctors do. That has led to a horrendous addiction problem that could easily have been prevented by patients receiving proper chiropractic care. Chiropractors use spinal adjustments, acupuncture, physical therapy, nutritional therapy and other tools to help patients overcome pain. Chiropractic is first safe and then effective in the treatment of back pain. If you know someone with back pain tell them about chiropractic. If they end up going to a drug therapist they shouldn’t be surprised that drugs are what their prescribed. Save a life tell someone about chiropractic.

FUNNY BONE: We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘You need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, ‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’ We haven’t used that repairman since…@@ I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’@@ The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an ‘intellectually challenged’ co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘what on earth are blind people doing driving?!’ She is a government employee…..

Web sites: keefeclinic.com-faceebook/keefeclinic.com

WEEKLY HEALTH UPDATE

Week of: Monday Sept. 2, 2019

Courtesy of:

John H. Keefe III, D.C.

(918) 663-1111

IN THE NEWS: Acetaminophen/ Tylenol  warning: A leading cause of acute liver failure by: Dena Schmidt, staff writer | August 25, 2019 In an ideal world, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) would always function in the best interests of the consumer. However, the sad truth is that the FDA often behaves as though it is in the back pocket of the big pharmaceutical companies and their financial interests. Acetaminophen causes an alarming number of cases of liver damage, acute liver failure and death each year, to the tune of 26,000 hospitalizations, 56,000 emergency room visits, 100,000 calls to poison control centers, and over 450 deaths. Even when taken at the recommended doses, acetaminophen can still cause major problems; however, it’s a very profitable drug – which seems to be fueling the lack of emphasis on these risks. The risks are even worse for those who drink three or more alcoholic beverages per day.  Taking even less than the daily recommended dose of acetaminophen for issues such as gastroenteritis can cause serious health risks; however, despite many reports of the dangers of using acetaminophen, the products don’t include sufficient warnings about these dangers. Nearly half of all acetaminophen overdoses are unintentional and occur either when people lose track of how much they are taking or when more is taken because pain is not relieved by the recommended dose. Taking acetaminophen, while taking other medications, is another way that people can accidentally harm to themselves. At over 100,000 per year, acetaminophen is the cause of most of the total calls to U.S. poison control centers, annually.  It also causes more acute liver failure cases than all other medication types combined. NOTE: chiropractic is the best treatment for neck and back pain along with headaches. Chiropractic corrects the cause.

WELLNESS: Eating garlic linked to lower mortality risk by: Joy Jensen, staff writer | August 26, 2019 Allium sativum, or garlic, is a popular herb that has a history dating back centuries. Related to both shallots and onions, garlic is grown across the world, and it’s a popular addition to many recipes due to its savory flavor. But it doesn’t just taste good.  It’s also packed with vitamins and minerals like vitamin C, vitamin B6, calcium, manganese, selenium, and potassium. Through the years, research has found that this common cooking ingredient offers some excellent health benefits. And many of these studies suggest that it’s the organosulfur compounds contained in garlic that give it its protective, antioxidant properties. However, a brand-new study took research even further, discovering that eating garlic is linked to lower all-cause mortality, even among aging populations. Previous studies had found that garlic was associated with lower mortality risk in healthy, younger people. However, the new study published in the Nutrients journal decided to look at the oldest aging individuals in the country of China. Researchers looked at a group of more than 27,000 aging adults with the mean age of 92.9 years, and of those participants, 15.9% of them reported that they consumed garlic five or more times each week. At follow-up time, individuals who reported they ate garlic frequently had a longer median survival time compared to those who only ate garlic rarely or occasionally. Researchers concluded that higher garlic consumption was linked to lower all-cause mortality – hypothesizing that it’s the potent antioxidant properties of garlic that provided this protective effect. In fact, consuming garlic five or more times weekly resulted in an 11% decrease in mortality risk for even the oldest study participants.

CONDITION OF THE WEEK:  Chiropractic Adjustments vs. Acupuncture vs. NSAIDs Wouldn’t it be nice if we could assess three common types of treatment for neck and back pain to determine which is the most effective? Here is a look at three studies that compared three popular forms of care for chronic spinal pain to determine the short-term and more importantly, the LONG-TERM benefits of chiropractic care, acupuncture, and non-steroid anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs, like Advil). The FIRST published study included a pilot group of 77 patients complaining of chronic spinal pain (neck, mid-back, or low-back pain). These patients were separated into one of the three treatment groups and received either NSAIDs, acupuncture, or chiropractic manipulation. Patients received care for four weeks with outcome measures (questionnaires) used to assess changes in pain and disability. After a 30-day time frame, only patients who received chiropractic manipulation (CM) reached a level of statistically significant improvement, supporting CM to offer the best SHORT-TERM BENEFITS for those with chronic back/neck pain. The SECOND study included 115 patients, again randomized, to receive either one of the same three treatments, but this time the outcome data was gathered two, five, and nine weeks after the start of treatment. Again, those who received chiropractic manipulation (CM) experienced the best overall improvement at nine weeks. The THIRD study involved follow-up from the same patient group from the SECOND study two years later. Once again, participants completed outcome assessments that measure pain and disability. This time, the results showed that only patients in the chiropractic manipulation group maintained long-term improvements in pain and disability. The researchers concluded that chiropractic care was highly recommended especially in Grades 1 and 2 (which includes the majority of neck pain sufferers). Interestingly, many multidisciplinary physician groups now incorporate chiropractic care as part of their “team” approach, which also offers pain management in the form of medications, injections, PT, and when necessary, surgery. They have seen the value of spinal manipulation for neck pain and often seek out chiropractic because it’s safe, beneficial, and cost-effective.

FUNNY BONE: My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.@@ I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’@@ When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’ His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’ STAY ALERT! @@My husband and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.’ She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said ‘We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.’ The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at MacD’s.

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